Tether
by Junebugsm
Summary: Lena feels like her children won't love her enough because she is not their biological mom and Callie feels like Lena wanted a baby because she wasn't good enough. Will Stef be able to show them both just how important they are to each other?
1. Chapter 1

**Lena feels like her children won't love her enough because she is not their biological mom and Callie feels like Lena wanted a baby because she wasn't good enough. Will Stef be able to show them both just how important they are to each other?**

(Takes place after 'Mother' (206)

* * *

Stef hadn't meant to listen to what Lena told Dana but when she heard the first few lines of the conversation she just couldn't help herself. It broke her heart that Lena didn't feel like she was completely a part of this family. Besides Brandon, none of the kids were biologically connected to her either and she'd never thought about it before. But maybe having that connection with Brandon had been enough. She would never know just how Lena truly felt.

The thought plagued Stef for the next few days. She wanted Lena to know that she was loved and she was sure that the kids would do everything they possibly could without her even having to ask. She just hoped that Lena could see just how much love they had for her.

Stef was sitting by their bedroom window letting the cool air hit her face when she heard crying from down below. She looked out the window and found Callie sitting on a chair, her knees up, head buried and sobbing. Stef's motherly instincts instantly kicked in as she headed down towards her daughter.

"You alright love?" Stef asked gently as she took a seat next to Callie.

Callie immediately tried to wipe her face and pull it together but she wasn't fooling anyone.

"Sweetheart, talk to me." Stef said, pulling Callie's face up from her knees. "What's going on love."

"I feel like this is my fault." Callie finally said as the sobs overtook her again.

"You feel like what is your fault?" Stef asked surprised. The only thing that was really going on at the moment was Lena and the baby but Stef couldn't make a connection from that to Callie.

"She lost the baby because I wished she didn't exist." Callie finally admitted softly.

"WHAT?" Stef was absolutely shocked, both because Callie just admitted to not wanting the baby and to the fact that she blamed herself for the loss.

"I just felt like I wasn't good enough." Callie explained.

"Sweetheart." Stef said as her heart broke for the teen sitting next to her. "You mean the world to us and no baby would ever change that."

Callie didn't say anything and so Stef continued.

"Why didn't you tell us how you felt?" She asked after a few minutes.

"Everyone was so happy." Callie said. "I didn't want to ruin it."

"Baby, you never have to hide the way you feel." Stef said as she grabbed Callie's hand. "Nothing you could ever say to us would make us not love you or not want to help you."

"I know, it's just..." Callie began but then stopped.

"It's just what love?" Stef encouraged her to continue.

"I'm not adopted and I thought that once the baby came you might change your minds." Callie said softly, looking away from Stef as her eyes filled with tears once again.

"Sweetheart nothing could ever make us not want to adopt you. You need to trust me on that baby." Stef said full of emotion.

Stef pulled Callie up and much to Callie's embarrassment she pulled her onto her lap. Callie tried to get away but Stef held on to her. "No baby stay." She said holding on tight.

"I'm too big for this." Callie said still trying to get off.

"Oh baby you'll never be too big." Stef said pulling Callie back into her. She held on to Callie until she finally stopped struggling and then for a few minutes more just enjoying having her daughter close.

She finally let Callie get off but held on to her hands and turned the girl towards herself.

"Callie none of this is your fault." Stef told her firmly. "You are not to blame for what happened, even if you weren't too happy about the baby. I didn't want mama to have a baby at first either but that doesn't make it my fault. Sometimes things just happen. I don't want you to ever think that you are responsible for any of this, directly or indirectly."

Stef made Callie look at her until she finally acknowledged what Stef had said.

Callie finally nodded and then a frown formed on her face. "You didn't want the baby?" She asked.

"Not when mama first told me she wanted to have one." Stef admitted.

"How come?" Callie asked curiously.

"Six kids, come on." Stef said in a humorous tone, but then in a softer one she added "six kids would have been perfect."

Callie saw the sadness in Stef's eyes. "Even if it isn't my fault, I'm sorry." She said to Stef and Stef gave her a grateful smile.

"Thanks baby." She said giving Callie a kiss. "You what I think." She asked Callie.

"What?" Callie asked.

"I think that mama could really do with some hugs herself." Stef told her.

"I don't want to bother her." Callie said. She honestly felt awkward around Lena. She was so upset and cried a lot and Callie never knew what to say.

"Having her babies around is never a bother." Stef promised.

"I don't know what to say." Callie admitted.

"Tell her how you feel and what you were thinking. Be honest. She may need it just as much as you." Stef told her. She really hoped that Callie admitting to Lena about how she felt would prompt Lena to realize just how much her children loved her and wanted her.

When Stef first heard that not terminating the pregnancy could possibly cost Lena her life she had been terrified. The thought of being a single mother, raising her babies without her best friend and wife beside her was something she couldn't even imagine. Loosing Lena would have killed her and it would have crushed their children and Lena needed to realize this.

"Okay." Callie finally said. "Will you come too?" She asked her. She still felt a little weird and wanted Stef around just in case.

"Of course baby." Stef said with a smile as she reached out a hand for Callie to take.

Together they headed inside to Lena.


	2. Chapter 2

When Stef and Callie got to the room Lena was still asleep just the way Stef had left her. Callie paused at the door, not wanting to wake her but Stef gripped her hand tighter.

"It's okay love." She said gently. "It's time for her to wake up anyways."

She walked Callie all the way to the bed but then let go of her while she woke Lena.

"Hey love." Stef said gently as she stroked back of her hand against Lena's cheek.

Lena stirred and for a moment she looked peaceful but once she opened her eyes and the reality came back her face immediately fell and tears filled her eyes.

"Baby Callie's here." Stef said not wanting Lena to break down completely in front of the already uncomfortable teen.

Lena looked over Stef's shoulder and found Callie standing awkwardly near the door.

"Come in baby." Lena called.

"I can come back later." Callie said uncomfortably.

"No love." Stef stopped her. "You two need this talk."

Lena gave Stef a questioning look. "What talk?" She asked her wife.

Stef walked over to Callie and pulled her over onto the bed next to Lena and sat down beside her. She waited a moment to see if Callie would begin by telling Lena how she felt but when she didn't Stef started it for her.

"Callie here, feels responsible for what happened." Stef began.

"About what?" Lena asked, just as confused as Stef had been about how it was connected to Callie.

"Apparently our girl wasn't as okay about the baby as she let on." Stef said as the two looked over at their daughter.

Callie remained silent and avoided looking anywhere but at her hands. She was so uncomfortable and honestly a little afraid that Lena would be mad at her.

"Honey," Stef encouraged Callie to take over by putting an arm around her shoulders.

"I..." Callie began slowly. "I didn't really want you to have a baby." She finally admitted to Lena.

"Why?" Lena asked a little harshly. After what had happened the admission hurt. She wanted nothing more than to be able to hold her baby.

Stef reached out her free hand and grabbed Lena's giving it a supportive squeeze. This wasn't going to work if she got upset. Callie already stiffened under Stef's arm when Lena questioned her and Stef needed to find a way to keep the peace.

But Callie couldn't continue because she was too afraid so Stef did it for her.

"She thought that we'd change our minds about the adoption once the baby came." Stef said softly to Lena.

Lena's expression immediately softened. She pulled her hand out of Stef's grasp and used it to turn Callie's head towards herself.

"Sweetheart, that would never happen." Lena explained.

Callie tried to look away but Lena gripped her chin, keeping her face visible.

"Callie, you did not cause this." Lena said. "Just thinking something doesn't make it happen. I just wish you had told us how you were feeling. We would have been able to calm your fears and you wouldn't have had to go though any of this."

Callie couldn't move her face so instead she closed her eyes. She was close to tears and she wanted nothing more than to be able to hold them back.

"Baby look at me." Lena encouraged gently as she squeezed Callie's chin, trying to get the girl to open her eyes.

But Callie kept them closed. She wanted to just disappear.

Lena could see that Callie was holding back her tears and thought maybe they could continue the conversation in a little while when she had time to pull herself together.

"Alright." She said as she let go of Callie's face. "We'll continue this later."

Callie was so relieved but it was short-lived for within a second Stef had grabbed her keeping her in place.

"No, this is going to be done now." She said firmly.

"Stef." Lena tried to stop her.

"Callie why did you think that we would change our minds?" Stef asked, ignoring her wife.

Callie looked miserably back at her hands and Lena reached out to try and comfort her as Stef continued.

"You thought that you wouldn't be good enough?" She asked, already knowing that she was right.

The tears spilled over Callie's eyes and Lena pulled her completely away from Stef and hugged her.

Stef could see the pain in Callie eyes as well as the anger in Lena's but both expressions only proved to her that she was on the right track. Sometimes it took a little tough love to get to the heart of the matter. Pretending everything was fine never did anyone any good. And so she continued.

"You thought that you weren't really a part of this family. Even if you did get adopted, you wouldn't really be one of us? Because you weren't connected to us by blood? That we wouldn't be your real moms."

Stef noticed Lena expression harden and her eyes scrunch up. She knew that Lena finally realized that this conversation wasn't just for Callie and clearly she wasn't happy about it.

Stef was about to continue but Lena cut her off. She turned to look at Callie.

"Is that really true?" She asked her. "Tell me the truth please."

Callie slowly nodded. She was still unaware of the double role of this conversation.

"Honey, I'm so sorry that you felt that way." Lena explained. "I wanted to have a baby because I wanted to experience the whole process. I never once felt that I'd love you any less."

Stef watched as Lena turned her eyes back to Stef for a moment. The anger evident but the reason understood.

"To be honest, I felt like I wasn't enough for you." She finally continued and Callie's head immediately snapped up to look at her. "I thought that you kids wouldn't look at me like I was your real mom. I love you all so much and I just couldn't bare the thought of you not wanting me." Lena was crying now too and she pulled Callie in even tighter.

To their surprise Callie wrapped her own arms around Lena and hugged her back. "I'm sorry anyway Lena." She said softly. "I know how hard it is to loose someone you love."

If Lena could possibly hold Callie any tighter she would have. This teen had been through far more than anyone should have to go though in their entire lives.

"You do know that this is not your fault and that no one blames you right?" Lena asked as she pulled away from Callie to look into her face.

"Yes," Callie nodded. "But I'm still sorry that I never told you how I really felt."

"That you can be sorry for." Lena said with a small smile. "Please don't hide anything from us baby. Nothing would change the way we feel about you."

"I know." Callie said softly. "I think a part of me always knew."

"Good girl." Lena said as she kissed Callie. "Go get something to eat baby." Lena told her as she turned her attention back to Stef. "I need to have a word with mom."

Callie nodded and got up to leave. She was still unaware of what was really happening so she didn't notice Stef's resigned look as she passed her on her way out.


	3. Chapter 3

Stef knew it would come the moment the door clicked shut. All the hurt and anger that Lena was feeling was going to be directed at her. But she didn't mind. If it made her realize just how much she was needed and loved by their kids, by _her_, then it was all worth it. Imagining a life without Lena was the scariest thing Stef ever felt and if Lena's anger was the price to pay for helping her realize it, then so be it.

"How could you?" Lena started.

"I'm sorry Love, I..." Stef tried to explain but Lena cut her off.

"You eavesdropped on a private conversation and then used it against me and you forced me to share that with Callie." Lena said angrily but she clearly wasn't done. "Did you think for one second how that would make her feel? To know what I was feeling?"

"I did not make up Callie's feelings." Stef defended herself. "I just needed you both to see that you were both thinking the wrong thing."

"That wasn't for you to decide." Lena said bitterly.

"How can you say that?" Stef asked as tears filled her eyes. "You wanted to try and carry the baby for another eight weeks, Lena. I could have lost you. I _can't _loose you. I can't be a single mom. I need you."

Lena's expression softened but she remained silent.

"I know you're hurting baby." Stef continued. "I get that and I'm sorry. I'm hurting too. I loved that baby inside of you. But I couldn't bare to loose you and I needed you to fight for us."

"And the only way to do that was to put Callie in the middle?" Lena asked with an edge still in her voice.

"My telling you wasn't going to do much good. You needed to hear it from her. You needed to see for yourself just how important you are to them, to _me_." Stef said emphatically.

"I've already terminated." Lena said miserably. "What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to stop blaming yourself just like you told Callie to stop blaming herself. Just like I know that I can't blame myself. Love we would have lost the baby anyways. The only question was whether we were going to loose you with her."

Stef couldn't mask the pain in her eyes and she didn't even try to hold back her tears and it broke Lena's heart as Stef continued.

"I want you to know that you are loved, by all of us. The kids need you. _I _need you. And just because you aren't biologically connected to any of us don't mean that you don't belong."

Lena looked away. She knew what Stef said was true - if she had tried to carry the baby for another eight weeks she could have died and the baby would have died with her. Her mother had been right too - it took a ridiculous about of love to find the strength to put your children first. What would they have felt if she chose to die with the baby instead of fighting to stay with them.

Stef watched Lena and knew that she understood. It didn't stop the pain from the loss but at least now she knew that she had made the right decision, no matter how hard it was. When Lena finally looked back up at her with a forgiving expression on her face Stef didn't miss a beat before she was beside her, wrapping her up into a hug.

"And I wasn't trying to eavesdrop." She said softly, not letting go of her wife. "I was going to follow her in just in case she got too much for you and you needed me to intervene. But then I heard you and it broke my heart. Baby I don't ever want you to feel like you aren't a part of this family because you aren't just a part of it but the center of it. I love you so much Lena and I don't know what I'd do without you." She finished as a lump formed in her throat and a sob took over her body.

Lena wrapped her arms around her wife as well then, tears rolling down her own cheeks. No more words were said as the two held each other. Both comforting and supporting each other as they thought about all they had lost, but also all that they still had left.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Okay to be honest - I think this is my favorite of all my stories. The fact that it stems from the best Foster's episode yet really helped. I was supposed to be a one-shot but ended up being three chapters but in the end I think I covered all their feelings pretty well. I addressed some issues that weren't really covered in the show but I think would have been key points in reality.

I really hope that all of you like this story as much as I do because I don't think any of my other stories - already published or yet to be - could trump this one.

Love Junebug


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